Friday, December 4, 2009
Abba My Heart is Broken
My heart broke today and I cried hard, I mean hard. I don't understand sometimes, really. My only comfort was the sound of the shofar, the wail of the shofar. On my knee's I fell begging Abba for rachamim (mercy and compassion) sometimes it is unbearable to watch my brethren hurt and confused and the hand of leaders. The sorrow is profound for me again at the core and what I see as a theme is deception and lies. An unwillingness to own up to one's struggles and difficulties. Hiding our sin or that of others, it's unacceptable how does this honor HaShem? I do not understand? I have seen this repeatedly through out the years no one denomination or people are exempt. As I write I cry as I ponder, I cry. There is injustice in the body!! HaShem is just!!! This can't be so. This is why I am so passionate about transparency, I have seen so many hurt because we hide our stuff. Abba help us??? "Come now, and let us reason together," Says the LORD, "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool. Isaiah 1:18
Please, pray and consider your walk, I am praying and considering my walk. May HaShem illuminate our path, may he cleanse us, may he teach us to be real with ourselves,others and first and foremost HIM. I don't know about you but when I ponder on all that I have done, how far he has brought me , how far I have to go. I am humbled, truly humbled!! I can't even muster up a "I am over that look". I can't. He has rescued me and continues everyday. Today and tomorrow are in His hands. I know what is wrong and right, but my own life keeps me from judging others. I have had hard times and blessed times, I have fallen and have conquered all in Him. I have walked with Him only to compromise at some unknown place and find myself far. I have struggled!! And HE has been with me all along the way. Please for the sake of those around you, those under your influence, those who see you clearly BE REAL!!!!
And pray for our leaders, elders in HaShem. Pray that we would humble ourselves and teshuvah (repent-turn back-turn around) so that we may be healed.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Yeshua may dwell in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9