Tomorrow I turn 35 and as I type this from my iPad, all I can think is how awesome and faithful G-d has been. Really, I mean my biggest desire has been to live this life as authentically as possible. To get to the place my my inside is out and to me I am one so to speak. Now this comes from someone who is a recovering people pleaser, the amount of stress of a life lived like that I wish on no one.
But here I am and while the beginning of 2011 was entered a little roughly it has been redeemed. This life I live richly, with a husband who is thoroughly himself and I love him for that! Okay sometimes we crash, but it's all good and we learn from it. But till this day I am in love with him and he makes me laugh. We are truly two solitudes sharing a world of love. And the awesome blessing I have, the privilege of being the mother of two awesome teens. Teens, holey Toledo I am the mother of two awesome people. I am blessed with a lovely home. This place that sustains New York loudness is my nest, my domain. I am honored and although in the everyday of this extraordinary life I sometimes forget how precious it is a.k.a take it for granted- I Take these moments to take it all in.
35 years later and many discipline books later I still wake up late or rather on time for me, I sometimes curse, I get blue in the winter. I am passionate about G-d, family, justice, respect, covenant, herbs, in powering. I also have the potential still to get angry enough to kick *** and have the wisdom to know when it doesn't seem like the best option.
I am blessed with the knowledge that this beautiful life is full of treasures and I am discovering on the way. My heart still get's broken and I cry at suffering, I still sometimes have expectations though that has always cost me. I still wear my heart on my sleeve and honestly think it's an act of G-d that my heart remains open.
This is me in all my complexity I have learned a lot and yet know nothing at all. I am always changing and yet still the same. It is my honor to live this life and know the people I know even those that are my enemies, they inspire me to keep it real and give others chances even when I don't want to. I have also learned to say enough! This is big for me as far as not letting anger eat me alive and kindly cutting off that which is not life giving in my life and home.
So 35 here I come with HaShem's help and wisdom to live it with gusto, open and full of laughter,freedom and beauty. Respecting and honoring myself, keeping my words to myself and enjoying the ride with my beautiful family.
Thank you for sharing with me on this blog, it is a privilege and honor truly. May HaShem bless you and grant you long life.
The King's Wise Woman