This week and it's end were spent thinking thoughts of growth. Seasons changing right before our eyes. How will we respond and what shall we do?
A deep feeling of change and re-adjustment has been deep in my bones. I know it is not just me because seasons do change, it seems to be the words I here deep in my spirit. No more neglect, no more carelessness. Matters of the heart must be addressed they can't be ignored for long, stale dryness is forecasted. How long could I go on ignoring ....... It's time for change! As I look on this new year coming in as Rosh HaShanah is nearing I ponder the changes, inevitable, we must grow. I have tried to jumpstart our homeschool but this year beckons me to teach my loves about interdependency. I had dreamed homeschool dreams of nature walks and natural learning. But in the journey distracted and full of fear returned again and again to stale learnings.
There were times, yes times, that we remember fondly of learning uninhibited and full of personal passion. But like a wave that is no more, gone, stored in our fantasies. But now at a crossroad I am called upon to give an accounting. What has the product been and to whose benefit? As I looked at old schedules, goals and ideals attempts at controlling what should have exploring. The box it is the box that I created, my response to personal stories and pains still reverberating. I can't live like this knowing the source of life, Abba. I am stepping up to the new place, I am embracing the changes. 13 and 16 what wonderful ages!!! So much to explore, so much to embrace. I as a mother, teacher, coach and friend must encourage and step out of the middle of their relationship. I am a coach and they are playing for HIS team, no more can I stand in between. They must know for themselves they must, they must hear for themselves they must. So as I journey and help them be free in HIM I release my ideas and let HIM take the wheel.