Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sexual Assault Prevention Counseling Center at the YWCA

well Sweet one,
I haven't mentioned to you that for that last couple of months I had been engaged with the YWCA's Sexual Assault Prevention Counseling Center Training. 

How did I come about this? 
I will spill, some time last year I had this moment which I call a G-D moment, I realized that I did not survive several trauma's in my life and worked through them and heal into the present with HaShem's help, to sit home with my doors locked, living in my own world. I remembered what it was like to be viewed as messed up and judged for it. When no one had a clue about my story.
I know what it is like for people to try to help you but haven't the faintest clue as to what you needed. Here I was years down the line having learned and worked through some stuff and applied grace and space to myself- I wanted to do the same for others. I wanted girls and women to know, they are not alone and there is hope. Not perfection but hope.
So not knowing where to go I saw an add in the newspaper about a physical therapist who seemed to be doing what she loved and also cared. So I did the crazy thing as I am known to do and called her and told her I had a fire to mentor and encourage young girls, where would I go? What do I do? I don't know if you can direct me to anything but here I am. She was such a blessing and encouraged me to check out the YWCA because they had programs that you can volunteer in, that mentor young girls. So I called the YWCA and it started from there. 
Initially I was afraid after all, I am first and foremost a family advocate and a woman being a woman advocate. I was leery that I would be getting involved in angry feminist rants. Now I say this with lots of respect because that is where I was. Well I was surprised to realize first that, there are some real issues out there that women are facing. Not everyone can stay home and we do not have a right to judge. And equally I can write a Rocked out novel and it sell like hotcakes because there where women before me that fought for the right to be respected as authors. There are a lot of things I realized and in addition there are both sides to a coin. I have learned a lot about the woman's movement that has blessed me, yes there are angry hurt people and others with heavy agenda's. Aren't there in every circle? But we can't judge a book by it's cover? And if we were going to base our associations with people or organizations based on the fact that we agree with everything that would be challenging. We would never talk with others, or go to the same supermarkets. I mean there is some trouble in that thinking but I'll save that for another time!
Any hoot, I have grown and want to put my faith into action. I want to be an Ambassador of Healing in my community. I will join forces with diverse people to accomplish a basic Torah principle " L'Chaim" to life! I will no longer sit back while sista's from all spaces and place's cry at night out of loneliness.  
Have you ever felt so alone that you cried yourself to sleep?   

Have you ever stood away from people because your afraid of being judged because your life is not perfect! Whatever picture that may be?
Yup, I know you feel me! I cried because I had been given a gift and couldn't believe that I wanted to lock it away when there was a little girl somewhere crying because she doesn't have anyone to talk to because she is being molested.
So the YWCA turned out to be this place of beautiful support for women who are coming from hurt places and trauma. Women who need to here that they don't need to get there faced pummeled by a man. You may not need that but she does! Sometimes your reality is not everyone's and as people who profess to live a life for the Almighty it's due time we got practical and took action against the atrocities that are happening in this world! Not to judge and brow beat and not to push on others our beliefs in manipulative tactics. No,but truly be of service to a hurting world.
I don't have all the answers and there are many complexities to every choice we make. But I can't do it anymore and I can't sit back and do nothing. I can' do everything but I will do something. Now I am going to say this because it needs to be said. My kiddos are 17 and 13, I can spend some time volunteering, if your children are young than home is where you need to be first. Be at peace with that, it may not be the season yet.
This to me is important I remember being snubbed at because I wasn't doing some great thing out in the world. But my great thing was building both physical and spiritual homes. I couldn't bare to think that while I would be out "saving the world" my home would be crumbling! One of the most devastating things in this world are broken homes. So if you are at that season where you have little ones,know that you are doing the most important difference and work! You can show support through prayers until the season allows for more if you so feel inclined.
So that being said, I have graduated from the training which is so informative and wonderful. Really. And soon to work in different aspects of advocacy. I am so blessed to have the honor to be a part of the work they are doing in empowering women and eliminating racism. Again, real issue's that need real people. 
My beautiful family was such a support to me and what a beautiful thought that there support will affect someone's life. There support is the cornerstone for me as I step out into the community. There was a time where I thought to myself that it either had to be all one thing or another. I have learned that it can be many things and at different times. HaShem has taught me so much. I am so thankful, really so thankful.
One last thing I want to share with you that has become a meditation, words to live by, whatever you wanna call it. Every time I read it I cry, because this is the cry of my heart and Abba knows that too well. I hope you receive as much from it as I did.
"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit." - Dawna Markova, Author of Open Mind
This is my prayer, my desire ever since I was young.
I have deep love for you Sweet One, and pray that your path be illuminated and that in your darkest hour you would know that you are deeply loved and are a beautiful created being.There are many out there like yourself and we will find each other and you will know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!


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